resources:fic:she_was_there [Memento Mundi]

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====== She Was There ======
**SPOILERS for Galavant 2.6**\\
To the tune of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj5DMchdhAQ|He Was There]]\\

Set before [[resources:adventure:matters_of_trade|Matters of Trade]]

//May contain exaggerations of Simon's backstory//

**Simon:** I was a poor starving street urchin\\
Only eating twice a year\\
And they tossed me out the day I asked for more\\
**Armand:** Aw.

And Penny brought me to the church in\\
And she gave me bread and beer\\
Also everything you left here in your drawer!\\
**Armand:** Wait. What?

**Simon:** He was there!\\
He was there!\\
Gave me all your underwear\\
With his sweet, loving care\\
He was there!\\
**Armand:** Got to be kidding me.\\

**Simon:** I was carried off by slavers\\
Where my parents died of pox\\
And they sold me to be rendered into goo\\
**Armand:** Ew!

**Simon:** Then your dad did me two favors\\
First he cleaned their freaking clocks\\
Then he gave me all the gear he gave to you!\\
**Armand:** Hey, that's my favorite hat!

**Simon:** He was there!\\
He was there!\\
Random backflip in the air!\\
Yeah!

So much more...\\
Love to spare...\\
Such a gem!\\
Such a--\\
**Armand:** Stop!

I was practically abandoned\\
By that smug and selfish jerk\\
It's like nothing that I did was quite enough\\
King Richard: That's rough.

**Armand:** First, his ego's out of hand\\
And all he cares about is work\\
And I can't believe he gave you all my stuff!\\
**Simon:** What? No!

She was there!\\
**Armand:** Never there!\\
**Simon:** She was--\\
**Armand:** Never, ever there!

**Simon:** Sweet and kind\\
**Armand:** Au contraire!\\
**Simon:** She's a saint!\\
**Armand:** Not a prayer!

Nasty and cold-hearted\\
Such a pig, don't get me started

She's a schmuck!\\
She's a schmo!\\
She's the worst!\\
I should know!\\
She's a traitor!\\
How I hate her!\\
...\\
She's right behind me. Isn't she?






{{tag>"she was there" fic}}
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