user:chaos:playerrequest:get_a_working_memory_and_gain_dominion_over_it [Memento Mundi]

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====== Aria - Get a working memory and gain dominion over it ======

Aria,

Hold on to this page. I don't know how many times I've had these thoughts, but from what's in the book I'd guess it's quite a few. So hold onto it, because even though I know I'm just going to forget all of this yet again, this is something I need to keep.

The book is full, and I think it's going to be impractical to keep on relying just on that. The earliest thing I recall right now that isn't just darkness is leafing through all of that just trying to make some sense of what I needed to know. It feels like it could be hit or miss in future. Dangerously so. So I need to find another solution, somehow. I'm sure I've probably thought these same thoughts before, but it doesn't look like I did anything then, so I need to make sure I do something now.

I'm sorry, but I don't have any decent ideas right now. Find another adventure and see what happens, but make sure I'm keeping a look out for a solution, maybe. Or maybe go find some magic users who can help or something, I don't know. Apparently it felt like I recognised a few things at some point in the past, so maybe check the book and try find those things?

Whatever I do, somehow I need a way to remember things. I suppose ideally I should try to regain the things I've forgotten already, too. Who knows what important things I could have left behind?

But that's not just the whole of it. What if I don't like what I recall? What if it's inconvenient? It'd be useful if I could control it somehow, if I could keep memories, but still just throw away those that I don't want to keep. So I should keep an eye out for a way to do that, too.

This can't be the only time I've had things that I've wanted to forget, where this condition has been an advantage. But of course, why would I have written those cases down? Still, I'm writing this having just returned from an adventure, still holding onto some of the memories, so even if I don't have any other examples to go on, I at least know that these cases exist, and have this proof, for now.

Because I remember the sadness that I felt as I cut Booker down. Because even if I don't remember the interactions we apparently had in the past, I remember most of that adventure, and how it felt like I had a friend close by. That can't be something I get to feel often. But I had to cut him down. He has to die. That's just how things are. Wouldn't it be better to be able to do that without having to remember that sadness? How do normal people even deal with that? I d

It looks like I left this unfinished. I wonder what else I was going to say? Well, whoever that Booker person was before they became a fire spirit, they can't have been that good a friend. They need to die, after all.

{{tag>"chaos"}}
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